And other grumblings…
Aug 6, 2022, Sat — The new plumeria composition is completed as of today. I will start with ‘first paint’ tomorrow. Always an exciting prospect no matter what the subject. I am so enamored with the 18 x 36 plumeria that I recently finished, that I wanted to do a bigger one. This new one is 30 x 48 inches. Also in yellows and pinks.
Feeling a little down today, and trying to sit with it. As in lonely and isolated. Which I am, physically here, but it usually doesn’t bother me because I have plenty of good friends and we’re always on the phone. But I’m in that Aug 4 zone, so it’s all on par for being normal. I don’t even feel like calling anyone, except maybe L.
After talking to V.L. the other night, I did try to start a dating profile. I pulled up the one he mentioned. and I can’t get into that either. Every answer to all the stupid prompts, I feel like writing, “f**k off”. Probably not a good idea to fill it out tonight!
Ground Hog’s Day
It feels like Ground Hog’s Day with the dating profiles. I’m totally and completely bored with them, and with composing my “story”. But all the good match sites, they want information about you, duh. I just don’t feel like going through the process. Where is my PA?? Has my vanity dissolved around my bio? No it’s just that the distaste of spending time describing myself is greater than my vanity.
Plus, all these “mindful” sites have this aura that somehow irks me, even as I am one of the more mindful people I know. It’s like they’re zealous, or righteous, or new converts full of themselves. I find it a total bore to actually document mindfulness like it’s something special. Perhaps it’s like how it bothers some people for being hailed and feted as a hero for just acting as anyone would in an emergency. And frankly, the other “mindful” site I joined for month this spring had its own liabilities. Instead of woefully unconscious dudes, you got woefully whacked dudes.
Well, there’s the black mood I’m in. I think we’re at 300 words anyway, whew! The other good news is the new plumeria composition is finished. Fat streaks of yellow paint tomorrow will be best therapy ever.